Still on the right road...

I am delighted with myself. I have stayed focused for the last two days, and I feel the
benefits of that discipline. When I put myself first, and take time to walk or go to the
gym, or even take the time to put an apple or a piece of cheese in my bag, it is me
taking the time to take care of myself. I know the GI diet works for me.

The last few days were strained for me, as I thought I was pregnant. I was two weeks
late in my cycle (very rare for me!), and despite two negative pregnancy tests, I was
really starting to worry. I would always welcome another little soul on board our lovely
family, but the timing seemed wrong, and I feel ready to take my creative side to the
limit now. So another baby (probably a boy) would have changed those plans just a little.

But today, all is back to normal, and I can refocus on myself and what I want to do for me!

Back on track.... again.

I feel like a total disaster with regards to trying
to stay with any weight programme. I was back on
track, then off track and am now trying to stick with
it again. In my head I really want to do this, to be
thinner, healthier, fitter, happier. Why then do I
sabotage it all, and eat badly, and feel awful?

Its a mystery.....

Back on track

Delicious
I won a voucher for Denis Healy's Organic
Fruit and Veg at the Home Birth Conference
last year. It took me over a year to get to
Leopardstown Market! But so worth it...

Off the wagon...

This week saw me fall off the wagon big time....

I had my chocolate days, and my eating junk days, but none of the foods tasted
particularly nice. I kept trying to get back on track, but I was messing. By today, I was
driving the boys to ENRG, and I craved Almonds and my body was screaming out for water.
But I gave it coffee and chocolate. Yeuk. It tasted so awful, but in my mind it was going to
taste divine.

Back to the gym I went, and had gained almost a pound. This seems ok, considering I was
off my programme, I only had one visit to the gym, and no walks. My hip is in agony, and
I feel so distracted with it.

But, enough of the messing. I worked out on the upper body machines. I'm worried about my
hip, it has been going on a little too long for my liking. I've been in pain since last November.
And I came back to half a litre of water, I washed the dishes, and cleaned out the car.
Strangely, when these things are done before morning, I feel so much more focused, and am
so much more likely to succeed for the rest of the day.

I'm also bursting with creative ideas, and have no-one to bounce them off. This feels frustrating
to say the least.

Tomorrow, we will meet up with Morganna and go to Imaginosity, and then head to Leopardstown Market where I will use a voucher I won at last year's Homebirth Conference, worth €50. I can't wait to have loads of fresh organic fruit and veg.

When I leave to go to the gym, Saul often waves goodbye and says 'I love Ya', but sometimes he
says, 'Bye, Annah, you love yourself', and this is what I need to do. To do these things because
I love myself.....

Damn you, Chocolate.....

Ok, I fell off the wagon today, big time. In fact, I fell off yesterday.
I had decided I didn't want a big Easter Egg, so I thought I would
buy a little Rolo egg to have a treat, a little treat. The shops seemed
to be all out of Rolo eggs, and offered me Galaxy. As Cal loves the
same Galaxy, I decided to get two.......

And I had one last night, then I had the two of them last night. In
secret.

I got up this morning, and went for a lovely walk, and planned to
come back and have coffee and share the Snicker's Egg Michael
had bought me. I had a Snicker's bar, and he took the rest fishing.

See photo. What more does a man need going fishing!

But I would have sold the kids for Chocolate.

Later in the day I took Aubrey, Saul and neighbour Derbhile off
to a payground, and I stopped for two bars of chocolate, which I bought,
I didn't trade the kids off for them.

And then I figured I had blown it for the day, and bought us all
a take away from the chipper.

So there we have it, bread (for the chips), with butter and salt,
chocolate, and then the chips. Help.

I want to write this, and let go of it. I want to start afresh
tomorrow, feeling energised and organised....

I'm so proud....

I went away for the weekend, and I didn't have all I needed with
me foodwise, but I managed really well. Over the entire weekend
the only thing I had that didn't fit into the GI plan was a piece of
chocolate cake, that actually wasn't worth the effort. For me, to
just stick with a plan when away is unheard of! I would normally
give in to temptation and blame anyone else but myself. But it feels
so different this time around and I am taking responsibility for what
I am doing.

Morganna and I went for two hikes over the weekend which were lovely
and refresing, and so nice to talk and share our lives without interruption!

I did some drawing and played with some paints. I seem to have tapped
into some creative side of myself and I am bursting to make something
or to focus on getting a studio place somewhere soon.

On Mon we headed to Kilcoole where Ciara and I chatted about the ideas
of creative spaces........ It is lovely to be in sync with her on this. I long for
more creative people around me.

Today I spent lots of time pampering myself, and I am still amazed that
nobody called mebefore, during or after my shower! saul seemed to really
enjoy having his space back and playing with his toys again and he seemed
absorbed, so I enjoyed my own time! And back to the gym tonight. It feels
so good. Yay Me.........